The Cheese Pimp
by uber-monkey
Summary: Zim discovers the power of the PIMP!
1. Default Chapter

~~~~~~~~~~The Incredibly Iced Out Cheesy Cheese Monkey~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"And now back to MTV2 hip hop countdown and at number one for the fifth week straight, this is 50 Cent featuring Snoop Dogg and G-Unit P.I.M.P. remix" (flip)  
  
"..this is 106th and Park and at number 5, David Banner, Like a Pimp"  
  
(turns off tv). Girrrr!  
  
"Oooh yes master"  
  
came that incredibly annoying stupidy stupid voice of Gir.  
  
"Gir what is this pimp thingy?"  
  
Zim asked his STUPID monkey child sidekick.  
  
"Welll, to tell the truth... I DON'T KNOW!"  
  
"Gir, Zim said sounding annoyed, you really are retarded aren't you."  
  
"Mebee"  
  
Gir said in that fat bastard/Austin Powers Goldmember voice, you know the voice that fat bastard uses when Austin asks him if he's soiled himself (laughs insanely). Well anyway back to the matter at hand...ROAR the giant pimp cheese monkey rampaged through the screen. MUHAHAHA!!! Planet poop has been conquered!!! (back on Earth)  
  
"Gir, from close observation of these music channels I have learned that these pimp type people have much power in popular culture.'  
  
"Sooo!?!" came Gir's voice through a vat of cheese  
  
"Sooo if I can become a pimp daddy like those people on tv and rule over the youth of this weak minded race, I could RUUULE them all!!!" Zim said in this fake gangster voice "But first I have to create on of those pimp/gangster names. Ooh I know I shall be called shizzle nizzle pimp cheese gizzle iced out frizzle kizzle dogg, or SNPCGIFKD to shorten the name which I have given myself to be used by the using people who will use it to address me as ME. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"HAHAHAHA" Gir said in his STUUUUUPID voice  
  
END OF STORY  
(or is it)  
  
A/N-This is probably by far the DUMBEST and most IDIOTIC story I have written yet but at least it's something. Please R+R and please, if you feel the urge (and no not for herbal hair shampoo) flame as much as you want but just make sure you review. 


	2. Zim and th Pimp Hand of Doom!

~~~~~~~~~~Zim and the Pimp Hand~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Now that I have a cooly cool rapper names I need my pimp clothes" Zim said to himself as Gir still swam in that stupid vat of cheese. "Gir, get the hell out of there before I kill you and eat you!"  
  
"Ookay" Gir said sadly as he climbed out of the cheese  
  
"That's better..ya stupid monkey. Well anyway I must find some of this pimp wear so I can attract the beeotches and hoes? (Zim says stretching out the ee's and s's)."  
  
"Gir."  
  
"Yes master"  
  
"What are beeotches and hoes?"  
  
"Wellll, on that big glass screen thingy.."  
  
"The tv Gir?"  
  
"Yeah whatever, on that it said that they were(trails off and falls into deep sleep)"  
  
"Gir, gir! You retarded good for nothing piece of CRAP" Zim says kicking Gir  
  
"Oooh, crap is YUMMY!!!" Gir says licking his nose for god knows what reason  
  
"Ah, you sicken me Gir!!"  
  
"I love you too" Gir says  
  
"Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaa" the giant pimp cheese monkey runs across the screen in pursuit of a small teletubby  
  
"Ah, I guess I'll have to buy my pimp clothes by myself. But it's too bad THAT I'LL BE PASSING THE TACO HUT BEFORE I GO SHOPPING!!!" Zim said this purposely to attract Gir and it actually worked  
  
Gir automatically jumped up and said in that tiny voice "must obey the taco mannn!"  
  
"Ha ha ha, works every time" Zim said petting his cheese monkey robot thingy on the head  
  
"I love you Zim" Gir said  
  
Zim turned around and pimp slapped him in the face which made one of his fake eyes pop out  
  
"Do not EVER utter that string of words in front of me" Zim said in a Snoop Dogg voice  
  
"Ooh, I never knew you could hit so hard" Gir said  
  
"Well you better recognize" Zim said and continued to walk  
  
END  
  
Well how did you like chapter 2? Huh Huh Huh Huh Huh Huh Huh Huh?!? R+R thanks and read my other stories or I will hunt you down muhahahahahaha (remembers that I didn't take pills this morning) 


	3. Shopping for PIMP!

~~~~~~~~~~Zim On TRL?~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Gir, now that we are out we might as well stop by that STUUUPID taco hut"  
  
"Weeee haaaaa!!!" Gir said jumping up and down in pool of cheese which seemed to magically appear from thin air  
  
"Gir?" Zim said in a stupefied voice  
  
"Oooh yesss master?" Gir said still jumping like an idiot  
  
"Gir where did that cheese come from?" Zim said still looking stupefied  
  
"I don't nooooooooo!!!" Gir said doing this stupid dance with his cheese  
  
"Whatever" Zim said and they continued to walk  
  
"Welcome to taco hut home of the taco hut can I take your oorder?"  
  
A/N- for those who don't know I took that home of the taco hut thing from Kenan and Kel's OLD movie Good Burger  
  
"Yes stupid taco person thingy I would like.. GIR, what do you want" Zim yelled to Gir  
  
"Whooo haaa, I want to buy the TACO HUT!!!!" Gir said in his STUPID voice  
  
"Excuse me useless taco hut guy, I would like to buy the taco hut" Zim said pointing to his "you know what" (hint, hint, cough gay)  
  
"Ahhh, the aliens have INVADED!!!" the taco guy said and jumped out the window  
  
"FREAK" some random dude yells  
  
"Welll, um, that went well?!? Zim said to a teary Gir  
  
"Why does society HATE me so? This harsh world in which we live where you must meet the standards of everyone you.."  
  
"Gir" Zim said to Gir who was holding a skull and dressed up in a Romeo and Juliet outfit  
  
"Yes my green comrade" Gir said still" sounding so poetic  
  
"Where the FUCK did that come from?!"  
  
"Eee dooont knooow" Gir said returning to normal  
  
"Same old shit-for-brains I see" Zim said pulling Gir by his ruffley thingy on his shirt.  
  
"Grease is good! Gir said with his tongue hanging out  
  
"Let's just go before I become STUPID like you" Zim said walking away from the taco hut  
  
"Noooo" Gir said clawing at Zim's arm "must obey the taco mannn!!"  
  
"Oh shut up you fudge cake pie fruit cheese creampuff" Zim said to his idiot monkey slave pet thingy  
  
(two hours later)  
  
"Finally at the clothes store" Zim says (looks down the street and sees the taco hut)  
  
"Yo, welcome to tha Roc-A-Fella clothing outlet dog, let's get this shit poppin' son." This tall black dude appeared out of nowhere and started talking  
  
"Ahh yeah umm I was looking for some threads?" Zim said not really knowing what he was talking about  
  
"Oh yeah son trust me, I'll hook you up right" the huge man said  
  
"Ooh yeah, I like hook up thingys!!" Gir said salivating "Um yeah I was looking for more of the uh pimp clothes heh?" Zim said felling stupid like Gir  
  
"Oh yeah that be in tha back" the black dude led Zim and Gir to the back of the store  
  
(doom doom doom and the powerpuff girls save the day dundundundundun roar CHEESE CACA muhahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!)  
  
Hours later Zim is still trying on clothes blah, blah, blah boring snore ....  
  
"Finally I have found the perfect dress thingy to complete my PIMP transformation!!!" Zim yelled at the top of his lungs through a coat that was three times his size  
  
"M'kay I don't really approve of this m'kay, you shouldn't have to pretend to be so gangster m'kay now stop it m'kay" Mr. Mackey from South Park appeared and started dictating to Zim in that ANNOYING voice of his  
  
"Dude what a weirdo" came the voice of Cartman  
  
"Hmm fat earthling" Zim said trying to sound cool  
  
"Don't call me fat you green &!$#, you must obey my authorataa!!!" Cartman said with that constipated look  
  
A/N- If you live under a rock and haven't watched South Park Cartman really does say authority like authorataa  
  
Suddenly Zim realizes that the TRL building is right next door and decides to pay Carson a little visit muhahahaha muhahahahaha dun dun dunnnn!!!  
  
END  
  
Sorry it has taken me so long to get this chapter up I've been on vacation suckers hahaha. Please R+R and I promise that I'll update sooner thanks ( 


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